Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken word, the writing that goes into it is an art form - it's certainly artistry.

Sometimes a fireman will go to great strenuous lengths to save a raccoon that's stuck in a drainpipe and then go out on the weekend and kill several of them for amusement.

The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid.

I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.

For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label.

Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

Sudden total weight loss.