I respect animals. I have more sympathy for an injured or dead animal than I do for an injured or dead human being, because human beings participate and cooperate in their own undoing. Animals are completely innocent. There are no innocent human beings.

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?

By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Religion is sort of like a lift in your shoes. If it makes you feel better, fine. Just don't ask me to wear your shoes.

The angles of my body show you an awful lot. I started doing coke to feel open, but by that time, the hole had opened so wide that I'd fallen through. The body language in those photos tells you everything.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.

Sudden total weight loss.