Catholic school gave me the tools to reject the very religion they wanted me to have. They taught me how to think for myself and to be independent.
George CarlinYou donโt see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uterusโs, do you? No, you donโt see them adopting a whole lot of crack babies, do you? No, that might be something Christ would do.
George CarlinSometimes, when I was really loaded, I'd sit on the floor and sort out every nut and bolt in the house. It was just sheer insanity. And often there'd be speed in the cut, so I was a speed freak, too.
George CarlinThe next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election
George CarlinSomething is wrong. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, crime, torture, corruption and the ice capades. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. This is not what you expect to find on the resume of a supreme being. It's what you expect from an office temp with a bad attitude.
George Carlin