Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.

Religion is the worst thing that ever happened to mankind - the ironic part is that it's presented as a good thing, and its effect is absolutely catastrophic to individuals and to societies.

Here's a phrase that apparently the airlines simply made up: near miss. They say that if 2 planes almost collide, it's a near miss. Bullshit, my friend. It's a near hit! A collision is a near miss. [WHAM! CRUNCH!] "Look, they nearly missed!" "Yes, but not quite.

Do you think Sammy Davis ate Junior Mints?

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.

Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time.