So I do have this ambivalence. Obviously I'm against militaries, because of what militaries do. In many ways though, the air force was unmilitary-like. They dropped bombs on people, but...they had a golf course.

Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom.

Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help.

And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats.

By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.