Don Ho can sign autographs 3.4 times faster than Efrem Zimbalist Jr.

People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking.

We created god in our own image and likeness!

The phrase surgical strike might be more acceptable if it were common practice to perform surgery with high explosives.

I never worry that all hell will break loose. My concern is that only part of hell will break loose and be much harder to detect.

Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky.

The symphony orchestra had played poorly, so the conductor was in a bad mood. That night he beat his wife--because the music hadn't been beautiful enough.