I don't own a camera, so I travel with a police sketch artist.

My advice: Just keep movin' straight ahead. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place.

The keys to America: The cross, the brew, the dollar, and the gun.

Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken word, the writing that goes into it is an art form - it's certainly artistry.

The effect of the coke on our relationship [with my wife Brenda] was very sick. Now that it's over, those were actually funny times. Looking for each other's coke, hiding it, finding it, doing some, not telling the other. Then fighting over it.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

If you're reading it in a book, folks, it ain't self-help. It's help.