If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1 enjoys it?

If you have a legal problem, guess how you determine whether or not you need a lawyer. You see a lawyer. Isn't that weird?

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. [And] I want to be known for what I do best.

Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.

People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day?

To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated, but not be able to say it.

I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen.