I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.

When it comes to God's existence, I'm not an atheist and I'm not agnostic. I'm an acrostic. The whole thing puzzles me.

Hallucinogens are a value changer...like it or not, it changes your values, it opens up windows (doors of perception.)

The more complicated the order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half soy, half lowfat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet,' ooooh, you're a huge asshole.

Why should it be illegal to sell something that's perfectly legal to give away?

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

I hate Dr Phil. Dr Phil told me to express my feelings, so I'm expressing them.