I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted?

If a piece requires some specific inflection, I'll record it. I take a lot of notes, and later categorize them, combining them alongside existing ideas, and eventually put a piece together.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

People have material needs, but you don't need a deodorant for every different day of the week. You don't need four hundred varieties of mustard. This is what I call too many choices. There are too many choices in America.

The more syllables a euphemism has, the further divorced from reality it is.

Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.