I went straight from shenanigans to crimes against humanity.

Have you ever started a path? No one seems willing to do this. We don't mind using existing paths, but we rarely start new ones. Do it today. Start a path. Even if it doesn't lead anywhere

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

In football the object is to march into enemy territory and cross his goal. In baseball the object is to go home.

When will all the rhetorical questions end?

If God had intended us not to masturbate, He would have made our arms shorter.

Life is a series of dogs.