I think of shock as kind of an uptown form of surprise. Comedy is filled with surprise, so when I cross a line... I like to find out where the line might be and then cross it deliberately, and then make the audience happy about crossing the line with me.

In the doggie dictionary, under "bow wow" it says, "See "arf arf.""

If there were only one cherry pie in the world, and Bill Clinton owned it, I might get a piece of it. If Bush or Reagan owned it, you'd have to kill them to get a piece of pie. That's my feeling about Bill. And Bill's a good bullshitter. America likes a good bullshitter. That's one of the reasons he was re-elected. Honesty has no place in politics. It would throw everything off.

The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free democratic election

As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.

For an entertainer, part of the thing you do is just style. And the coke did help me get into great runs of pure form.

So far, this is the oldest I've been.