You're all going to die. I hate to remind you, but it is on your schedule. It probably won't happen when you'd like; generally, it's an inconvenience.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

Shopping and buying and getting and having comprise the Great American Addiction. No one is immune. When the underclass riots in this country they don't kill policemen and politicians, they steal merchandise. How embarrassing.

Everything that you know about yourself comes from thinking back, and I think I saw religion as the first big betrayal of me.

I believe myself to be a worthwhile and inventive performer in my own right. But I'm not in a league with Lenny [Bruce], certainly not in terms of social commentary.

I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that would happen to someone else.

If you're reading it in a book, folks, it ain't self-help. It's help.