I don't get all choked up about yellow ribbons and American flags. I see them as symbols, and I leave them to the symbol-minded.

In most polls there are always about 5 percent of the people who 'don't know.' What isn't generally understood is that it's the same people in every poll.

There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people. When you drop a newspaper over a sign and walk away with it, or take something off a wall and the sound of the glue ripping makes people turn around. Your heart is racing, it's a rush.

What exactly is "midair"? Is there some other part of air besides the "mid" part?

Y'ever notice how you never seem to get laid on Thanksgiving? I think it's because all the coats are on the bed.

Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? They're always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Ghandi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. They all said: 'Try to live together peacefully.' BAM! Right in the f--in head! Aparently we're not ready for that!

There was a built-in audience for the rebel in me that had been all along not expressing himself.