Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body
George CarlinYou BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
George CarlinI was trying to get out of the night clubs and was thinking maybe I'll go to the colleges now; that's where you can speak your mind.
George CarlinSo I live in Los Angeles, and it's kind of a goofy place. They have an airport named after John Wayne. That ought to explain it. It has a charming kind of superstitious innocence.
George CarlinI never took reds or Quaaludes to balance out the coke. So when it got to be four in the morning and the gram was three quarters gone, I'd start wishing it was nine o'clock and hoping the guy got up early. But, of course, he didn't sleep either, so there was no sweat. During all those years, I was always looking forward to the next snort or the next guy I could score from.
George Carlin