When I was in seventh grade, I was caught stealing money from the visiting team's locker room during a basketball game. So I was sent to The Brothers. That's what they called this parochial school up in Goshen, New York. I was supposed to get closer supervision there and more "masculine influence," whatever that means. But I was thrown out for telling a couple of really lame kids on the playground that I had heroin.

Now, some people do this for shock value. Shock is just another uptown word for surprise. Granted it has a different quality to it, but a joke is about surprising someone. I'm a great believer in context. You can joke about anything. I do like finding out where the line is drawn, deliberately crossing it and bringing some of them with me across the line, and having them be happy that I did.

In adolescence you have to separate yourself and establish your identity. So, being very independent anyway, I took charge.

I think it keeps the child alive in me. There's a thrill when you steal something in plain view of other people.

I kind of like it when a lot of people die, and on the other hand I always wonder how many unused frequent-flier miles they had.

I'd say pot has been a break-even proposition for me.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!