George Washington’s brother, Lawrence, was the Uncle of Our Country.

There are three kinds of people: those who can count, and those who cannot.

There's a part of me that is angry. Not in the sense of, "Gee, George is an angry guy!" I mean, anyone who's been with me five minutes, five years, whatever, they would tell you they've rarely seen me in a moment of anger. Yes, I can become highly irritated in a line that's moving slowly, or with a clerk who's incompetent. But I don't yell. I don't get rude. I am clear about what I expect. In a store, my mother always told me, "Ask for the manager immediately. It changes the tone of the conversation."

Geologists claim that although the world is running out of oil, there is still a 200-hundred-year supply of brake fluid.

Hard work is for people short on talent.

Medical researchers have discovered a new disease that has no symptoms. It is impossible to detect, and there is no known cure. Fortunately, no cases have been reported thus far.

With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius.