How old are you? 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.

So, have a little fun. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family.

I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.

It was just a compulsion. In fact, I soon realized that the only thing I really enjoyed was the actual snorting.

Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.