Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.

I put a dollar in one of those change machines. Nothing changed.

I just love it when I hear a little commotion, someone leaving. When I see those doors in the back . . .

Even in a fake democracy, people ought to get what they want once in a while.

Sometimes guys'll say to you, 'Have a good one'. I say, 'I already have a good one. Now I'm looking for a longer one'.

I'll tell you a little secret about the Blues: it's not enough to know which notes to play, you have to know why they need to be played.

I was surprised when I started getting old. I always thought it was one of those things that would happen to someone else.