My money buys me the freedom not to be a member of the corporate structure. And I certainly don't feel guilty or hypocritical about that. The way our economy is set up, if you don't want to be a corporate moron and you don't want to be enfeebled in the streets, you must earn enough to know that you'll never have to go to them for money.

Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.

By elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize I'm listening to it.

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

Religion is like a pair of shoes.....Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes.

What year did Jesus think it was?