I literally didn't know my father. My mother had been a secretary, and after she and my father split, she went back to work for an advertising executive. So my older brother and I were "latch-door kids." We went home for lunch and after school by ourselves.

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.

If you can't say something nice about a person, go ahead

You know why we're good at it? Because we get a lot of practice. This country is only 200 years old, and already we've had ten major wars. We average a major war every twenty years. So we're good at it!

When I was young I used to read about the decline of Western civilization, and I decided it was something I would like to make a contribution to.

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.