There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn for a long time if you do them. But he loves you.
George CarlinSurround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
George CarlinHumor is based on surprise, and surprise is a milder way of saying shock. It's surprise that makes the joke.
George CarlinReligion - religion, at best - at BEST - is like a lift in your shoe. If you need it for a while, and it makes you walk straight and feel better - fine. But you don't need it forever, or you can become permanently disabled. Religion is like a lift in the shoe, and I say just don't ask me to wear your shoes. And let's not go down and nail lifts onto the natives' feet.
George Carlin