I say if you're going to go for the Angel bullshit you might as well go for the Zombie package as well.

We get what we deserve. They are our elected officials.

I actually was a writer who had the ability to perform his own work as opposed to a comedian who wrote his own material. So that really made me happy and changed my whole perspective.

It's not in the mainstream media yet, but the biggest jump in skin cancer has occurred since the advent of sunscreens. That kind of thing makes me happy. The fact that people, in pursuit of a superficial look of health, give themselves a fatal disease. I love it when 'reasoning' human beings think they have figured out how to beat something and it comes right back and kicks them in the nuts. God bless the law of unintended consequences. And the irony is impressive: Healthy people, trying to look healthier, make themselves sick. Good!

If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.

I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out.

I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes