The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".

The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.

It's harder to be funny from the position of power.

If you nail a tool shed closed, how do you put the hammer away?

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.

I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him.