I did a lot of thinking, and used mental activity to relieve whatever feelings I had. I became very left-brained, and I was good in school. That is, I was a smart kid.

Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft. Reminds me of something my third-grade teacher said to us. She said, "You show me a tropical fruit and I'll show you a cocksucker from Guatemala."

War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.

You get to play with people's little danger zones.

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

We're not supposed to mention f***ing in mixed company, but that's exactly where it takes place.

Results like these [state of the earth] do not belong on the resumé of a supreme being.