In TV today, you can say I pricked my finger, but you can't say it the other way around.

Regarding local residents attempting to ban sex shops from their neighborhoods: You show me a parent who says he's worried about his child's innocence and I'll show you a homeowner trying to maintain equity.

I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.

What wine goes with Captain Crunch?

I simply decided that dope wasn't worth the ritual.

In restaurants where they serve frog's legs, what do they do with the rest of the frog? Do they just throw it away? You never see "frog torsos" on the menu. Is there actually a garbage can full of frog bodies in the alley? I wouldn't want to be a homeless guy looking for an unfinished cheeseburger and open the lid on that

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes.