Life is a near-death experience.

The ritual was very important to me: cleaning the pot, rolling the pot.

The main reason women are crazy, is that men are stupid.

I think of shock as kind of an uptown form of surprise. Comedy is filled with surprise, so when I cross a line... I like to find out where the line might be and then cross it deliberately, and then make the audience happy about crossing the line with me.

The reason I talk to myself is that I'm the only one whose answers I accept.

Just think, right now as you read this, some guy somewhere is gettin' ready to hang himself.

There is a core of loneliness. It's partly existential. Secondly, I was raised a loner. My parents were not there. My father was asked to leave because he couldn't metabolize ethanol. Actually, my mother ran away with us when I was 2 months old and my brother was 5. Real dramatic stuff: down the fire escape, through backyards. So, I sort of raised myself. I was alone a lot and I invented myself - I lived through the radio and through my imagination.