Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.

If you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else?

I'm offering a special prize for the first Buick on the moon.

When I was young I used to read about the decline of Western civilization, and I decided it was something I would like to make a contribution to.

And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?

The sicker you get, the harder it is to remember if you took your medicine.

There are two types of people: One strives to control his environment, the other strives not to let his environment control him. I like to control my environment, because I feel if I have my physical space in order, then I'm free to dream.