Have you ever noticed that the lawyer always smiles more than the client?

Ah, to be a bird. To fly the skies, sing my song, and best of all occasionally peck someone's eyes out.

Put two things together which have never been put together before, and some schmuck will buy it.

One time. In 1965. August, for about an hour, I was both fine AND dandy at the same time. But nobody asked me how I was.

The dividend I get [from my compulsion] is the freedom to be totally disorderly in my dreamworld.

To me the cynics are the ones in the boardrooms with the reports from the focus groups.

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?