I consider the coke a major cause. Of course, you could also make the argument that because cocaine speeds up the heart, it's good for you.

I'm sure Hitler was great with his family.

I always have these little internal monologues. You'll get used to them.

The women who line up at a comic's dressing-room door are not what you'd call your class groupies.

I suspect there really was more to my accident than bad luck. I think it was God's way of punishing my nose.

Bowling is not a sport because you have to rent the shoes. When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? This title offends all three major religions, and even vegetarians!

War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been.