Energy experts have announced the development of a new fuel made from human brain tissue. It's called assohol.
George CarlinDonโt just teach your children to readโฆ Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.
George CarlinAlthough the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.
George CarlinIf anyone e-mails you something "by George Carlin," there's a 99 percent chance I did not write it. I didn't write "Paradox Of Our Time." I didn't write "George Carlin On Aging." I didn't write a eulogy for my wife after she died. I didn't write the New Orleans thing. I didn't write "I Am A Bad American." None of them. You know what I've decided to do? I'm going to get a little cheap put-it-together-yourself website called NotMe.com.
George Carlin