And now gay people want to get married... Haven't they suffered enough?

Religion is a self-conferred intellectual decision; it's not something you get at birth and is unchangeable. You're collusive with the religion when you accept it; you have a choice.

The bloodiest, most brutal wars fought, all based on religious hatred. Which is fine with me! Any time a bunch of holy people want to go out and kill each other I'm a happy guy!

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

The surgeon general warned today that saliva causes stomach cancer. But apparently only when swallowed in small amounts over a long period of time.