Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight, with widely scattered light by morning.

In my fifth-grade yearbook - it's right up there on the top shell - the last page says, "What about your future?" and under my name, it says, "When I grow up, I would like to be either an actor, a radio announcer, an impersonator or a comedian."

I like my jokes to be built on a foundation of ideas, or at least smart observations.

The straightest line between a straight distance is two points.

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.

The coke made me incredibly horny.

To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced military and civilian radar operators.>>.