How can it be a spy satellite if they announce on television that it's a spy satellite?

One of the first things they teach you in Driver's Ed is where to put your hands on the steering wheel. They tell you put 'em at ten o'clock and two o' clock. Never mind that . I put mine at 9:45 and 2:17. Gives me an extra half hour to get where I'm goin'.

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.

I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.

So about 80 years after the Constitution is ratified, the slaves are freed. Not so you'd really notice it of course; just kinda on paper. And that of course was at the end of the Civil War. Now there is another phrase I dearly love. That is a true oxymoron if I've ever heard one: "Civil War." Do you think anybody in this country could ever really have a civil war? "Say, pardon me?" (shoots gun) "I'm awfully sorry. Awfully sorry."

I'm 60 years of age. That's 16 Celsius.

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?