We're not supposed to mention f***ing in mixed company, but that's exactly where it takes place.
George CarlinEnvironmentalists changed the word jungle to rain forest, because no one would give them money to save a jungle. Same with swamps and wetlands.
George CarlinThat's really a part of my nature , it goes along with autonomy and independence of action - it's just that I don't identify with the local group, no matter what it is, whether it's the human species or the American democracy, the nation, the country, religions, political parties, nothing. None of these have my allegiance because I'm not really concerned with what they do. I don't feel a part of any of this.
George CarlinIf the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isnโt the whole airplane made out of that stuff?
George CarlinI had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better.
George CarlinEverybody in America is a part of this big herd of cattle being led to the marketplace, not to be sold, which is usual with cattle, but to do the buying. And everyone is branded. You see the brands - Nike, Puma, Coke - all over their bodies. Pretty soon you'll go to a family and say, "$100,000 if we can tattoo Pepsi on your child's forehead, and we'll have it removed when he's twenty-one. A hundred grand."
George Carlin