Religion has what is EASILY the greatest bullshit story of all time.

What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?

I don't vote. We're led to believe we're free through the exercise of ineffective freedoms.

Whenever you see the word cuisine used instead of the word food, be prepared to pay an additional eighty percent.

Can placebos cause side effects? If so, are the side effects real?

Grass [marijuana] probably helped me as much as it hurt me. Especially as a performer. When you're high, it's easy to kid yourself about how clever certain mediocre pieces of material are. But, on the other hand, pot opens windows and doors that you may not be able to get through any other way.

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?