Every time you're exposed to advertising in America you're reminded that this country's most profitable business is still the manufacture, packaging, distribution, and marketing of bullshit. High-quality, grade-A, prime-cut, pure American bullshit.

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

I've never owned a telescope, but it's something I'm thinking of looking into.

That invisible hand of Adam Smith seems to offer an extended middle finger to an awful lot of people.

I've been a performer for a long time and I know when people are laughing from their guts, from the inside, and when their tuxedos are laughing.

For a while, I thought of myself as an atheist until I realized it was a belief, too. It's a shame everything has to have a label.

Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.