I'm kinda like herpes, I just keep coming back.

Life is not that complicated.

I try not to see new comics - their acts or their films. Part of that is professional. I don't want to be influenced. But another part is fear and jealousy. I'm afraid to see how good they might be. I don't like that emotion, but it's part of me.

'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?

When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts. Germany lost the Second World War. Fascism won it. Believe me, my friend.

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

Every person you look at, you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking