You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
George CarlinCloud nine gets all the publicity, but cloud eight actually is cheaper, less crowded, and has a better view.
George CarlinYou know what I like about the American form of government? They've worked things out so that you're never far from a 7-Eleven.
George CarlinReligion has convinced people that there's an invisible man ... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
George Carlin