Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.

I think it's important to break taboos for the same reason it's important to break laws and rules - because either you're a slave to them, or you're taking matters into your hands.

Although the photographer and the art thief were close friends, neither had ever taken the other's picture.

Baseball is the only major sport that appears backwards in a mirror.

Next time you see someone sleeping, make believe you're in a science fiction movie. And whisper, 'The creature is regenerating itself.'

The Baby Boomers: whiny, narcissistic, self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy: "Gimme that! It's mine!"

Hooray for most things!