Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers.

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

Because we were a poor area, the school had a small budget and was unable to teach the second half of the alphabet.

The only thing high-definition television will do is provide sharper images of the garbage.

If you ask me, we could do with a little less motivation. - The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. - Serial killers, stock swindlers, drug dealers, Christian Republicans.

The older you get, the better you realize you were.

You show me something that doesn't cause cancer, and I'll show you something that isn't on the market yet.