Beethoven was so hard of hearing, he thought he was a painter.

Scientists announced today that they have discovered a cure for apathy. However, they claim no one has shown the slightest interest in it.

How come when it’s us, it’s an abortion, and when it’s a chicken, it’s an omelette?

If you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else?

Hard work is for people short on talent.

Language is the most elementary aspect to our humanness, probably. In addition to that, it's the embodiment, it's the apotheosis of the human experience, it's the way we summarize ourselves.

If Helen Keller had psychic ability, would you say she had a fourth sense? What year did Jesus think it was?