Art is the sex of the imagination.

It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on.

A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.

Politics is the diversion of trivial men who, when they succeed at it, become important in the eyes of more trivial men.

There is something distinguished about even his failures; they sink not trivially, but with a certain air of majesty, like a great ship, its flags flying, full of holes.

An optimist is a fellow who believes a housefly is looking for a way to get out.

Sex touches the heavens only when it simultaneously touches the gutter and the mud.