Men go to the theatre to forget; women, to remember.

Common sense, in so far as it exists, is all for the bourgeoisie. Nonsense is the privilege of the aristocracy. The worries of the world are for the common people.

It is also said of me that I now and then contradict myself. Yes, I improve wonderfully as time goes on.

The notion that as a man grows older his illusions leave him is not quite true. What is true is that his early illusions are supplanted by new, and to him, equally convincing illusions.

Sex touches the heavens only when it simultaneously touches the gutter and the mud.

The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.

The path of sound credence is through the thick forest of skepticism.