Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work inthe brewery.

No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched.

A broken heart is a monument to a love that will never die; fulfillment is a monument to a love that is already on its deathbed.

Opening Night: The night before the play is ready to open.

Bad officials are the ones elected by good citizens who do not vote.

The triumph of sugar over diabetes.

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor.