At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that's better than an absent one is a dead one.

Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.

When I was born I owed twelve dollars.

I've never had any complaints yet!

Satire is what closes on Saturday night.

You've heard of people living in a fool's paradise? Well, Leonora has a duplex there.

You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Clause!