If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.

If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.

I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.

I sincerely apologize to anyone who was offended by my attempt at humor regarding the tragedy in Japan. I meant no disrespect, and my thoughts are with the victims and their families.

I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience; they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'

No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.