I always feel that most political jokes, if you're going to do them, you have to do them within the next five minutes, or else they're outdated. By the time you've got it to the point that it's strong, it would be 12 years old.

R2D2 has gotten more work since “Star Wars” than Carrie Fisher

I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.

At the Last Supper how come no one sat on the other side of the table? See, I think originally there were people sitting on the other side but those were the people going, You know, the air conditioning hits me right on the back on the neck.

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.

Back when Jerry Seinfeld was just another comedian hanging around the clubs, I'd imitate him to amuse myself and the other comics. The club owners would say, 'What are you doing that for? Nobody knows him.'