I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept.

The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.

I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.

Some comedians tell nice jokes that you can tell to your kids. Some use bad words - they work 'blue.' If you don't want to hear a joke that's blue, you shouldn't go to a comedy club where a comedian who makes blue jokes is performing.

There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.