Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.

I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny.

I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.

My Bubbie lived to 104, which is probably a little too old to consider a ripe old age, because she had already started to turn. I still say she died young.

One pleasant surprise was when I interviewed Butch Patrick. I was expecting this bitter old drunk, and instead he had a total sense of humor about his career and his drinking and drug problem.

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.