There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.

A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'

I find Washington audiences are basically the same as every other audience; they watch me and go, 'Who's idea was it to go see him? And is it too late to ask for my money back?'

What do Japanese Jews love to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.

One pleasant surprise was when I interviewed Butch Patrick. I was expecting this bitter old drunk, and instead he had a total sense of humor about his career and his drinking and drug problem.

If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.