I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.

Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.

I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist.

I'm one of those people, in any country I'm in, if somebody could just put me in a car or a bus, I'll look out the window and say, 'OK, there's the Tower of London, there's Buckingham Palace, there's Big Ben,' and if it all takes about five minutes, perfect. I've seen all of it and I can go home.

There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.

I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.