I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.

Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.

Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.

Nothing can help my comedy.

If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.

I was Jewish, through and through, although in our house that didn't mean a whole lot. We never went to synagogue. I never had a Bar Mitzvah. We didn't keep kosher or observe the Sabbath. In fact, I'm not so sure I would have known what the Sabbath looked like if it passed me on the street, so how could I observe it?

A landlord is showing a couple around an apartment. The husband looks up and says, 'Wait a minute. This apartment doesn't have a ceiling.' The landlord answers, 'That's OK. The people upstairs don't walk around that much.'